A lesson in compromise

Travelling alone is great. Unburdened by compromise; the master of your own destiny. Go wherever you want, whenever you want.

Travelling with others requires a different mindset. What do they want to do? What can I give up doing? What is the general consensus within the group? The benefits of travelling with others as opposed to going lone wolf are obvious. Camaraderie, conversation, cheaper prices.

There are two main subsets of groups travelling together, which can be further subcategorised in terms of the dynamics of the group (which I don't want get into right now). The first are groups of friends travelling together for their entire trip. The other are "lone wolf" travellers coming together to travel for an indeterminate period of time - mostly for convenience and the reasons mentioned above. Most of the time I am the latter.

An unwritten, unspoken agreement seems to exist among solo travellers that you will travel together until it no longer becomes either financially viable or if your plans change. Or, *gasp*, if you get sick of the people you're travelling with.

I've been travelling with a girl I'd met at a hostel in Chiang Mai, in northern Thailand, who had vague plans to travel to Laos just as I did. I seemed to have a more solid plan - go a bit further north to Chiang Rai then spend two days cruising down the Mekong River from Thailand to Luang Prabang, Laos. At this time I'd decided to leave two English girls I had been with because they wanted to go to Laos and I wanted to head to Chiang Rai first, but that's another story. She had asked if she could come with me to Chiang Rai seeing as she was just kicking about Chiang Mai not doing much. I agreed and we've been with each other ever since (about a week now). Everything was going fine - both of us seemed to have a similar mindset when it came to travelling - accommodation-wise anyway (cheapish places which mean more money can be spent on other things. All you need is a bed to sleep in and wifi). Then we met another girl on the second day of the slow boat trip. She was taking the long way back to Scotland after spending 18 months living in Australia.

The three of us then entered this unspoken, unwritten agreement that we would be together until it was no longer practical. (She has since gone south to Vang Vieng whereas we are heading north into the jungle). Things were going grand until we hit dry land again. Where to stay?

Suddenly we needed a place with three beds, but we each had different criteria and ways of finding it. Normally the way I travel, especially when arriving late afternoon or evening, is to pretty much find the first place with a decent rate to spend the night and sort myself out for the next day. What to do and whether to move on to another place etc. Either that or book a few nights in advance online then figure out a plan from there. Our Scottish friend was using an app to find cheap hotels to stay in and paying that little bit extra for a fancier place. For me that money would be better spent on food or for tours or souvenirs.

After wandering around Luang Prabang (which thankfully is not that big) in the early evening with all or luggage we finally settled on a place - three beds, a big room, a cheap price between three. A little bit run down, but bearable. That was not the last I heard about how we could probably get a good hotel for a few dollars more.

This probably wasn't the first time I'd realised other people travel in different ways and have different criteria for what they want to get out of travelling etc. But it was an example that made me want to write about it (obviously).

It also got me thinking about what kind of person I'm like to travel with. Of course I'll never know, but I'd like to think I'm not too bad.

The main factor for me in anything is price. If its out of my price range or if I think it costs more than it should I'll say so. I'd also be more likely skip it or find an alternative or - if I really want to do it then I'll try save money in other places (food etc).

I get a bit irritable when I'm tired and/ or hungry and sometimes have to fight the urge to snap at people. When in a group I tend to be a contributor rather than the leader in a conversation or in decision making. But I'm more likely to go with what others want to do to save time, frustration and to make the decision making process quicker.

I sound like a great travelling partner, right? 

Though, to be fair, I've been lucky enough to have been with people who more or less want to do the same things as I do.

Or are they just compromising with me?    

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Posted in: compromise,Laos,Luang Prabang,Thailand